Wow…if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that Lysa TerKeurst has been peeking in my diary off and on over the past 30+ years. Actually I don’t keep a diary, but she has a solid handle on the ridiculous self-talk that often goes on in my head. Self-talk that definitely doesn’t honor the Lord…the one who created me with a specific purpose and a plan. I’m so grateful for Lysa’s straightforward, humorous, and honest approach to everyone woman’s battle…the battle of feeling less than, left out, and lonely…even in the midst of a crowd. Uninvited is Lysa’s newest book and I’d recommend picking up a copy for yourself and your best girlfriends. Excellent read!
I highlighted several thing while reading and have posted those notes below…
- Honesty is a suitor with piercing vision who isn’t swayed by pretending and positioning.honesty isn’t trying to hurt me. It’s trying to heal me.
- Negative self-talk was a rejection from my past that I had allowed to settle into the core of who I am.
- Self-rejection paves the landing strip for the rejection of others to arrive and pull on up to the gates of our hearts. Think about why it hurts so much when other people say or do things that make you feel rejected. Isn’t it in part due to the fact they just voiced some vulnerability you’ve already berated yourself for? It hurts exponentially more when you’re kicked in an already bruised shin.
- Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me.
- Rejection isn’t just an emotion we feel. It’s a message that’s sent to the core of who we are, causing us to believe lies about ourselves, others, and God. We connect an event from today to something harsh someone once said. That person’s line becomes a label. The label becomes a lie. And the lie becomes a liability in how we think about ourselves and interact in every future relationship.
- For years, I’d been expecting stability from a broken identity.
- When a man is physically present but emotionally absent, a girl’s heart can feel quite hollow and helpless. This is true whether that man is her father, her husband, or even a man whom she deeply respects.
- Things of this world all eventually reveal what incapable anchors they really are.
- I needed truth to inform what I believed about myself.
- My identity must be anchored to the truth of who God is and who He is to me. Only then can I find a stability beyond what my feelings will ever allow. The closer I align my truth with His truth, the more closely I identify with God—and the more my identity really is in Him.
- The exhausting manipulation and control it takes to protect an identity based on circumstances will crush our hearts and hide the best of who we are behind a wall of insecurity.
- We need to develop an “intimacy-based identity,” and this starts with answering three core questions: Is God good? Is God good to me? Do I trust God to be God?
- For the Eternal is on His way: yes, He is coming to judge the earth. He will set the world right by His standards, and by His faithfulness, He will examine the people. (PSALM 96:13 THE VOICE)
- “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”1
- Isaiah 26:3–4: You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal.
- The Hebrew word for steadfast used in this verse is samak, which means “to brace, uphold, support.”
- If God is good and God is good to me, then I must fill in the gaps of all the unknowns of my life with a resounding statement of trust: God is good at being God.
- “God, I want Your truth to be the loudest voice in my life. Correct me. Comfort me. Come closer still. And I will trust. God, You are good at being God.”
- The mind feasts on what it focuses on. What consumes my thinking will be the making or the breaking of my identity.
- No person’s rejection can ever exempt me from God’s love for me. Period. No question mark. The most beautiful love story ever written is the one you were made to live with God.
- Live from the abundant place that you are loved, and you won’t find yourself begging others for scraps of love.
- Girl, I am not picking up that negative vibe you just laid down, because I live loved.
- The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. (ZEPHANIAH 3:17 ESV)
- No soul can soar to the place of living loved when it’s a performance-based endeavor. Living loved is sourced in your quiet daily surrender to the One who made you.
- He waits every day with every answer we need, every comfort we crave, every affection we’re desperate for, while we look everywhere else but at Him.
- We run at a breakneck pace to try and achieve what God simply wants us to slow down enough to receive.
- “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” (JOHN 15:7 NASB) Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (PSALM 37:4 ESV)
- Jesus doesn’t participate in the rat race. He’s into the slower rhythms of life, like abiding, delighting, and dwelling — all words that require us to trust Him with our place and our pace.
- He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand]. (Psalm 91:1 AMPC)
- Fullness comes to us when we remember to be with Him before going out to serve Him. He wants our hearts to be in alignment with Him before our hands set about doing today’s assignment for Him.
- God’s love isn’t based on me. It’s simply placed on me. And it’s the place from which I should live . . . loved.
- Proximity and activity don’t always equal connectivity.
- For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:14–19)
- It is impossible to grasp the fullness of God without grasping the fullness of the love of Christ.
- Before that next party. Before that next difficult discussion with our husbands or friends or neighbors. Before that next step we take in pursuing our dreams. Before that next hurt, hurdle, or heartbreak. We must get this settled in our hearts, minds, and souls. In light of God’s deep affection, we no longer have to live in fear of rejection. The more fully we invite God in, the less we will feel uninvited by others.
- What we see will violate what we know unless what we know dictates what we see.
- What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31)
- For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” So we can say with confidence, “The LORD is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?” (Hebrews 13:5–6 NLT)
- The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1)
- Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (PSALM 23:6)
- That word follow in the original Hebrew is radaph, meaning “to pursue” or “chase.” God’s goodness and love will run after us all the days of our lives. How tragic that when we chase something in this world, we’re actually running away from the stable trust and secure love our souls long for the most. Our souls were created to be pursued and fulfilled by God’s love and goodness. Other chases deplete us and erode our trust.
- It’s impossible to hold up the banners of victim and victory at the same time.
- Relationships don’t come in packages of perfection; relationships come in packages of potential.
- No amount of outside achievement fixes inside hurts.
- The Bible reminds us that on the other side of humility we find wisdom (Proverbs 11:2). We will be lifted up by God Himself in due time (1 Peter 5:6). “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6 NLT). Humility isn’t a place of weakness but rather a position that will come with honor (Proverbs 18:12). And humility is an absolute requirement for those who ask God to heal their land (2 Chronicles 7:14).
- When I ease the loneliness ache in others, it is beautifully eased in me.
- If we allow our thoughts to stink, that smell will leak out of every bit of us—our words, our actions, and especially our reactions.
- James 3:14–15 (ESV) says, “If you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.”
- Choose to live loved while you’re in the middle of the journey, and know that what He has in mind for you is so much more than you imagine.
- I will extol the LORD at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. I will glory in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. (PSALM 34:1–4)
- Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. (PSALM 34:5)
- Today’s disappointment is making room for tomorrow’s appointment.
- Believing God has purposed our days will save us from the trouble of stepping into plans that aren’t meant for us.
- I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. (Lamentations 3:24–26) 4.
- The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Fear the LORD, you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. (PSALM 34:7–10)
- The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand. (PSALM 37:23–24)
- He’s coming after me today by making me want to get my needs met outside the will of God. He will dangle scenarios in front of me that evoke feelings that tempt me to crave, lust, and boast.
- Lies flee in the presence of truth.
- I Want a Promise for My Problem of Feeling Empty Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. (Deuteronomy 8:3)
- I Want a Promise for My Problem of Feeling Deprived “Fear the LORD your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name” (Deuteronomy 6:13). Another version of this verse says, “Worship Him, your True God, and serve Him.” (THE VOICE)
- Is my attention being held by something sacred or something secret? What is holding my attention the most is what I’m truly worshipping.
- Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (PSALM 73:25–26)
- And I Certainly Want a Promise for My Problem of Feeling Rejected Do not put the LORD your God to the test. (Deuteronomy 6:16)
- We just have to remember that where we pay attention matters more than we know. Our minds and hearts are like dry sponges. What we focus on is what will soak in and saturate us. If it is something foolish, we will make foolish decisions. If it is wise, we will make wise decisions.
- Truth is the perfect tranquilizer. The enemy’s power is rendered powerless in the presence of God’s promises.
- Inspiration and information without personal application will never amount to transformation.
- Resisting God’s promises will make us forget God’s presence.
- What happened yesterday can’t be changed, but it can be forgiven. That’s your miracle in the mess. The voices of condemnation, shame, and rejection can come at you, but they don’t have to reside in you. That’s your miracle in the mess.
- Fear can’t catch what it can no longer reach.
- People can’t fix from the outside a perspective that needs to be rewired on the inside.
- The spotlight never fixes our insecurities. It only magnifies what we thought popularity would cover up.
- The less we feel we need to address pride in our lives, the more it has already blinded us.