I really enjoyed Dr. Emerson Eggerichs‘ Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires and The Respect He Desperately Needs. I have had this book for a while. I am typically a very fast reader and often finish most books in one or two sittings. I intentionally read this book slowly in an effort to really think about the content. This book is different because it is so practical for both men and women. I think this is a great read for married people, as well as those who hope to be married one day.
Just a few weeks ago, I was a part of a panel of women that got to share some insight with our high school girls on relationships while we were on our school’s fall retreat. While we were talking to the girls, a panel of men were talking to the high school guys. After a while, we swapped the panels. It was a blast! They asked some really great questions…and some awkward ones too! If you boiled down all the questions and the responses from all 15 adults that participated…we left our guys and girls with the challenge to get to know each other and find out how God created men and women to interact. God gave men a deep down desire to find out if “I have what it takes”. And women grow up trying to find out “Am I beautiful?”.
There have been many books dedicated to this topic, but I think that Eggerichs hits on some new thoughts that are very profitable for both the marriage relationship and any other relationship involving guys and girls. Based upon Ephesians 5:33 and extensive biblical and psychological research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs reveals the power of unconditional love and unconditional respect and how husbands and wives can reap the benefits of marriage that God intended.
Eggerichs lays out “the Crazy Cycle,” whereby a woman feels unloved and denies respect to her husband; denied respect, he denies her love; feeling unloved, she denies him respect. Round and round they go. He bases this on Ephesians 5:33. His solution is the Energizing Cycle, whereby she gives her husband the respect he needs, and then feeling respected, he gives her the love she needs.
I truly believe that Love and Respect can make a huge difference in your marriage as well as giving you insight into your siblings, coworkers, friends, teammates, etc. of the opposite sex. This book is fun to read and you will find yourself wondering if Eggerichs has been peeking into your relationships to get his anecdotes. Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of this book today so that you can understand why she needs to be loved and he needs to be respected. I would even encourage teenagers to check this out to help avoid some of the pitfalls of confused relationships.