Are you looking for ways to motivate your own child or your student in the classroom? Are you looking for strategies to encourage rather than to punish? Cheri Fuller, who has spoken for many Christian organizations including Focus on the Family, wrote a book called Raising Motivated Kids: Inspiring Enthusiasm for a Great Start in Life. This book is a great read for parents, teachers, coaches, administrators, pastors…anyone that has the privilege of investing in the life of a child. I personally appreciated that this book includes several practical examples of things that you can do to building encouragement and motivation into your daily routine and relationship with your child. I have a 3 year old daughter and my husband and I look forward with eager anticipation to see what God has in store for her as she develops the talents and abilities He has blessed her with. This book has been helpful as we desire to help her steward these gifts. I also have the privilege of working with middle and high school students everyday as a principal. I want these students to know that they are special and that God created them with a specific purpose and plan for their life. They matter!
This book is a quick read, but chock full of good things to consider. I highlighted several things while reading and have pasted those below…
- In our efforts to boost their motivation, many of us are pushing our kids too far and too fast, and they’re becoming burned out.
- How do we learn the difference between pushing our kids toward burnout and genuinely helping them to be motivated?
- When you motivate someone, you inspire hope in him. You stimulate him to action or propel him forward.
- Unmet emotional needs can block learning in children. The child starved for love, acceptance, and attention from her parents has scant energy to face the challenges of school and life.
- A secure parent-child relationship is a major foundation for a child’s self-worth. With a positive view of themselves, kids become more motivated, take risks needed for learning and achievement, and keep working toward those goals even in the face of frustration and setbacks.
- “It is hard to develop any self-worth without a close personal link to at least one adult”. EVE BITHER
- “Parents are anchors of security to children. Parents of secure children spend more time with them. There is close daily interaction. Close emotional ties are built daily, in small ways. Then any crisis can be handled. Having faith in their parents, they have faith in themselves and others, and life makes sense to them.” DR. YAMAMOTO
- Communication naturally flows out of time spent together in an interesting and enjoyable activity.
- Our role modeling is a powerful motivator because the number one way kids learn is by imitation. So one of your most powerful tools in guiding and motivating them is setting a good example.
- If we allow them the freedom to make mistakes, they won’t be as discouraged by their failures.
- As a parent, how well do I handle failure? How persevering am I in overcoming obstacles, delays, and disappointments in my everyday life?
- When trying to motivate a child to develop his personal goals, there’s nothing better than exposing him to adults who have purpose in their lives and work in interesting professions.
- Kids who succeed and overcome obstacles in school and life usually have one experience in common: They have at least one person in their life who had high expectations for them and provided support and structure for their dreams.
- Try focusing on improvement and stay away from comments that emphasize your children’s errors.
- Recognize your kids’ small successes.
- As John Drescher says, “Continual comparison builds inferiority feelings that harm personality development.”6 Comparison causes kids to become unmotivated because they begin to feel unaccepted for who they are. Instead of comparing, we can recognize and celebrate each of our kids’ different abilities, personalities, and gifts. Most important, our kids need to know that we love them for who they are, not for what they do.7 Good grades are nice, but there is only a small amount of direct correlation between academic achievement and success in the real world.”
- Recognizing that academic achievement is not all there is to life helps us keep grades in proper perspective.
- Creativity, a willingness to take risks, task commitment, perseverance, initiative, a burning desire, a consuming interest, or an overwhelming passion-many of these factors have a bigger stake in determining a person’s success than certain letter grades on a report card.
- Avoid punishment.
- Avoid criticism.
- Consider scheduling a parent-teacher conference.
- Avoid paying for grades or offering bribes.
- Instead of focusing on grades, we need to communicate to our children that learning itself is important and valuable. Because in the big picture, it’s the learning that matters.
- Patience is a wonderful gift we can give our children that will help them to be enthusiastic and motivated as they learn and grow and as we relax and enjoy them right where they are.
- We all have a story to tell. Each family has a rich storehouse of tales: stories of faith and good character, true tales of overcoming adversity, stories that show the frailties and mistakes of ordinary people.
- C. S. Lewis, the famed writer and philosopher, suggested that in the heat of battle, he would have more faith in a group of soldiers who knew the stories of their country-tales of the great heroes and leaders-than in a group of soldiers who knew only their nation’s constitution. He understood that those who knew the stories would have greater motivation to fight, to persevere, and to win because they knew they were a part of something larger than themselves.
- Storytelling ignites the imagination.
- Questioning and experimentation with the unknown form the basis of advance in every field.
- Recalling the little victories and realizing how far he’s come builds courage to try again.
- Humor can help overcome perfectionism and relieve stress.
- Children thrive on order and structure.
- Overstructuring kids’ lives to the point that they don’t have time to relax, read for leisure, daydream, or play leads to burnout.
- Relax the schedule.
- Slow down and take time.
- Be aware of the signs of stress and burnout in kids.
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As we choose activities and provide resources that meet our children’s needs in their early years and find a good balance between structured and unstructured time, we can help them avoid the pitfalls of burnout and stay motivated for the adventures of learning and life.
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A taste of success leads to a desire for more success, which is a very powerful motivator in school and in life.