{"id":11351,"date":"2018-03-07T08:24:33","date_gmt":"2018-03-07T13:24:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/?p=11351"},"modified":"2018-03-07T08:24:33","modified_gmt":"2018-03-07T13:24:33","slug":"book-review-before-you-hit-send","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/?p=11351","title":{"rendered":"Book Review: Before You Hit Send"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"before-you-hit-send\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Romans 12:18<\/strong> “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.<\/em>”<\/p>\n

Over the Fall Break our family was headed to the beach and I had an opportunity to hear Dr. Eggerichs speaking on a the 5 Leadership Questions podcast<\/a> about his newest book Before You Hit Send<\/em><\/a>.\u00a0 I immediately put this book on my list.\u00a0 We have all experienced frustration regarding email and other electronic communication.\u00a0 I was also struck by the number of times that I have unwittingly been the source of frustration for others when I have been less than thoughtful and considerate.\u00a0 I’m grateful for grace and also for people who are faithful to hold me accountable in this area.\u00a0 I have LOTS of room to grow!<\/p>\n

I read two of Dr. Eggerichs other books and reviewed them here:\u00a0Love and Respect<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0<\/em>Love and Respect in the Family<\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>I appreciate his writing style and the way that he starts with a solid biblical foundation and then shares different experiences in his own upbringing, his family, and his ministry that help illustrate the concept in a way that is memorable.<\/p>\n

I have a LOT to learn in this area.\u00a0 I enjoyed reading this book and made a real effort to stop after each section to evaluate how the Lord is showing me areas where I need to grow.<\/p>\n

I highlighted a ton while reading and have posted those notes below.\u00a0 Thank you for holding me accountable to growing in these areas!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

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    \n
  • \u201cDance like no one is watching; email like it may one day be read aloud in a deposition.\u201d Olivia Nuzzi, The Dailey Best p. ix<\/li>\n
  • Here are four questions to ask yourself with everything you communicate:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
      \n
    1. Is it true?<\/li>\n
    2. Is it kind?<\/li>\n
    3. Is it necessary?<\/li>\n
    4. Is it clear? p. xv<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
        \n
      • Ephesians 4:15 Speak the truth in love. p. xvii<\/li>\n
      • Ecclesiastes 3:7 A time to be silent and a time to speak. p. xvii<\/li>\n
      • 1 Corinthians 14:9 Unless you utter by the tongue speech that is clear, how will it be known what is spoken? p. xviii<\/li>\n
      • Let\u2019s dance like everyone is watching. \u00a0Let\u2019s write like everyone is reading. \u00a0Let\u2019s speak like everyone is listening. p. xxi<\/li>\n
      • Scriptural Meditation on True Speech: Ephesians 4:25, Colossians 3:9, Titus 1:2, Acts 5:3-4, Revelation 14:4-5, Proverbs 12:19, Proverbs 12:22, Proverbs 19:5, Proverbs 21:6, Psalm 35:20 p. 2<\/li>\n
      • \u201cFalsehood\u2026is the worst enemy a fellow can have. \u00a0The fact is truth is your truest friend, no matter what the circumstances are.\u201d Abraham Lincoln p. 5<\/li>\n
      • Am I about to communicate unto others in the way I would want others to communicate unto me? p. 8<\/li>\n
      • \u201cPresumption first blinds a Man, then sets him a running.\u201d Benjamin Franklin p. 20<\/li>\n
      • Proverbs 18:13 He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him. p. 20<\/li>\n
      • \u201cThere is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one\u2019s errors. \u00a0It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the error.\u201d Dale Carnegie p. 23\u201d<\/li>\n
      • \u201cAbove all, don\u2019t lie to yourself. \u00a0The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. \u00a0And having no respect he ceases to love.\u201d Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov p. 26<\/li>\n
      • 1 Timothy 5:24 The sins of some people are obvious, going ahead of them to judgement. \u00a0The sins of others follow them there. p. 41<\/li>\n
      • \u201cCharacter is higher than intellect.\u201d Ralph Waldo Emerson p. 41<\/li>\n
      • \u201cIf you tell the truth you don\u2019t have to remember anything.\u201d Mark Twain p. 51<\/li>\n
      • If our communication is not true, what good is it to go on speaking about kind, necessary, and clean communication? p. 56<\/li>\n
      • Scriptural Meditation on Kind Speech: Ephesians 4:15, 1 Corinthians 13:4, Proverbs 15:1, 2 Timothy 2:25, Colossians 4:6, 1 Peter 3:9, 1 Corinthians 4:13, Proverbs 16:21-24, Proverbs 12:25, Proverbs 15:4, Proverbs 19:22, Micah 6:8, Ecclesiastes 10:12, 1 Peter 3:15, Colossians 3:8, Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 25:15, Luke 4:22 p. 63<\/li>\n
      • People hear your words of truth, but they feel your words of kindness. p. 63<\/li>\n
      • A question for all of us to ask before communicating is, \u201cAm I addressing the issue or attacking the person?\u201d p. 66<\/li>\n
      • How can I speak what is true and necessary and clear without others feeling I am unkind? \u00a0How can I differ with people without them feeling unloved and disrespected? p. 66<\/li>\n
      • In hitting send, if I am feeling provoked by another\u2019s maddening behavior and react like a madman, I will be seen as a madman along with the other person. \u00a0I get no pass because he or she started it. \u00a0Even though the other person came at me first, my insane reaction reveals to others that I have a serious character flaw. \u00a0My rude and mean-spirited reaction reveals me as a rude and mean-spirited person. p. 67<\/li>\n
      • Mark 7:21-22 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed\u2026slander\u2026 p. 70<\/li>\n
      • Other people do not cause us to be the way we are; they reveal our predisposition to express disgust and disparagement. p. 70<\/li>\n
      • Every bully needs to ask, Can I secure my wishes only via intimidation? \u00a0Do I lack the confidence in my honorable character to appeal to others to provide what I need? \u00a0Can I not use my good heart to motivate others? \u00a0Do I need to yell at the retailer, threaten divorce, and scream litigation against the landlord? p. 76<\/li>\n
      • \u201cTruth without love is nothing\u2014it is not even truth, for truth is God, and God is love. \u00a0So truth without love is a lie; it is nothing.\u201d Dietrich Bonhoeffer p. 79<\/li>\n
      • \u201cIntelligent people tend to talk about the facts. \u00a0They don\u2019t sit around and call each other names. \u00a0That\u2019s what you can find on a third-grade playground.\u201d Ben Carson p. 83<\/li>\n
      • We all must ask ourselves individually, Will I compromise my character and the truth in order to win? \u00a0Will I succeed no matter the cost? p. 83<\/li>\n
      • \u201cManners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. \u00a0If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.\u201d Emily Post p. 97<\/li>\n
      • The words we are saying are only half of our communication. \u00a0The other half is what others are hearing. \u00a0Will we hear what they hear? p. 103<\/li>\n
      • \u201cA beast does not know that he is a beast, and the nearer a man gets to being a beast the less he knows it.\u201d George MacDonald p. 106<\/li>\n
      • Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath. p. 109<\/li>\n
      • Relationship determines response. p. 113<\/li>\n
      • Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt. p. 119<\/li>\n
      • Scriptural Meditation on Necessary Speech: Ecclesiastes 5:7, Proverbs 10:19, Ecclesiastes 5:3, Ecclesiastes 6:11, Proverbs 29:20, Ecclesiastes 5:7, Ecclesiastes 10:12-14, Matthew 12:36, James 1:26, Ephesians 5:4, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 25:11-12, Proverbs 15:23, Proverbs 17:27, Proverbs 13:3, Proverbs 21:23, Proverbs 17:28, James 1:19, Jude 1:3, and Ephesians 5:12 p. 123<\/li>\n
      • Ephesians 4:29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. p. 124<\/li>\n
      • Matthew 12:34 For the youth speaks out of that which fills the heart\u2026.v 36-37 But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgement. \u00a0For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. p. 125<\/li>\n
      • Ephesians 5:4 There must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. p. 134<\/li>\n
      • We need to recognize that true information communicated at the wrong time usually proves useless. p. 135<\/li>\n
      • If you are uncertain if this is the best time, wait on it. p. 135<\/li>\n
      • We are going to this person about whom you are talking to ask if this is true, and, if so, what we can do to help. \u00a0We are going to be part of the solution here.\u201d p. 137<\/li>\n
      • Proverbs 18:13 He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him. p. 141<\/li>\n
      • Did you know that the letters in the word listen are the same as in the word silent? p. 142<\/li>\n
      • Before hitting send, Have I listened carefully and understood the exact issue on the table? p. 142<\/li>\n
      • Matthew 11:28 Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. p. 144<\/li>\n
      • \u201cCriticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. \u00a0It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body; it calls attention to the development of an unhealthy state of things.\u201d Winston Churchill p. 165<\/li>\n
      • I will give an account to God not only for what I said that was unnecessary but also for failing to say what was necessary. p. 167<\/li>\n
      • Matthew 12:36-37 But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. \u00a0For by your words you will justified, and by your words you will be condemned. p. 173<\/li>\n
      • Scriptural Meditation on Clear Speech: 1 Corinthians 14:9, Colossians 4:3-4, 1 Timothy 1:7, 1 Corinthians 1:12; 5:10; 10:19; 1 Corinthians 14:10-11, Ephesians 4:9, Hebrews 12:27, Ecclesiastes 12:9, Ecclesiastes 12:10, Luke 1:3-4, Acts 11:4, 1 Corinthians 1:17, Ephesians 3:4, 2 Peter 3:16, 2 Corinthians 1:13, Deuteronomy 27:8, Mark 8:32 p. 177<\/li>\n
      • \u201cUnless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible.\u201d Anthony Hope Hawkins p. 178<\/li>\n
      • Proverbs 15:28 The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer. p. 178<\/li>\n
      • Proverbs 16:23 The heart of the wise instructs his mouth and adds persuasiveness to his lips. p. 179<\/li>\n
      • Did they mean to say that in such an unloving and disrespectful manner? p. 180<\/li>\n
      • Before hitting send, we must ask, Is this person on the same page with me? \u00a0When I am unaware of another\u2019s ignorance but talk to that person as though he or she knows what I now, I will be unclear. p. 184<\/li>\n
      • Just because we are well meaning is no reason to believe others know our meaning. p. 189<\/li>\n
      • Though I think this remark is humorous, will the other person hear it as hurtful? p. 197<\/li>\n
      • When we put off the inevitable, we put off people. \u00a0In trying to make both sides happy by not being for one side and against the other, we make both sides unhappy with us for being crafty. p. 202<\/li>\n
      • Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. p. 209<\/li>\n
      • Because we love the truth, we will make sure the other clearly understands the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.<\/li>\n
      • Because we need people to know our kind intentions, we will make sure they clearly \u00a0know that we are seeking to be loving and respectful people as we relay this information.<\/li>\n
      • Because we need to communicate what is necessary, we will make sure they clearly grasp the essentials that are vital for them to know. p. 216<\/li>\n
      • 1 Corinthians 14:9 Unless you utter by the tongue speech that is clear, how will it be known what is spoken? p. 223<\/li>\n
      • Proverbs 6:2-3 If you have been snared with the words of your mouth, have been caught with the words of of your mouth, do this then, my son, and deliver yourself; since you have come into the hand of your neighbor, go, humble yourself, and importune your neighbor. p. 226<\/li>\n
      • When you want to maintain the best possible relationship both with the one you offended as well as with God, you will make things right regardless of whether others do or do not and regardless of how things \u201cworked\u201d for your family while growing up. p. 226<\/li>\n
      • Am I about to communicate unto others in the way I would want others to communicate unto me? p. 228<\/li>\n
      • If I had been communicated to in the untrue, unkind, unnecessary, or unclear way that I have just communicated, would I want the offender to apologize to me, the offended? p. 228<\/li>\n
      • <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        Romans 12:18 “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Over the Fall Break our family was headed to the beach and I had an opportunity to hear Dr. Eggerichs speaking on a the 5 Leadership Questions podcast about his newest book Before You Hit Send.\u00a0 I immediately put this […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,14,25,23,28,17,18,34],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11351","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bible-study","category-book-review","category-education","category-generosity","category-integrity","category-leadership","category-north-cobb-christian","category-truth"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11351","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11351"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11351\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11351"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11351"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11351"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}