{"id":11740,"date":"2018-08-12T12:59:03","date_gmt":"2018-08-12T17:59:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/?p=11740"},"modified":"2018-08-12T12:59:03","modified_gmt":"2018-08-12T17:59:03","slug":"book-review-option-b-facing-adversity-building-resilience-and-finding-joy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/?p=11740","title":{"rendered":"Book Review: Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Option-Adversity-Building-Resilience-Finding-ebook\/dp\/B01N8R5QD7\/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1534096409&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=option+b+sheryl+sandberg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-11742 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/exe04_optionb-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/exe04_optionb-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/exe04_optionb-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/exe04_optionb-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Option-Adversity-Building-Resilience-Finding-ebook\/dp\/B01N8R5QD7\/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1534096409&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=option+b+sheryl+sandberg\"><em>Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy<\/em><\/a> by Sheryl Sandberg is a book that I&#8217;d be wanting to pick up.\u00a0 I remember reading the news story about Sandberg&#8217;s husband passing away while they were on vacation.\u00a0 I remembered praying for her and her young children as they walked through that journey.\u00a0 This book is a great resource for people who are grieving&#8230;and want people to know that it&#8217;s ok to not be ok.\u00a0 Sandberg was very specific about what some of the hardest things were for their family as they began this unwelcome walk down the path of grief.\u00a0 She covered the gamut between the most thoughtful and most inconsiderate things that people said and did.\u00a0 Of course she also talked a lot about her community in her role at Facebook and that proved to be an interesting look at company culture surrounding families.\u00a0 I definitely picked up some thoughts for my own leadership to be able to serve families well in these situations.\u00a0 I appreciated Sandberg&#8217;s willingness to be so open to sharing this journey that has become her family&#8217;s new normal.<\/p>\n<p>I highlighted several things while reading and have posted those notes below&#8230;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<div>\u201cNo one ever told me,\u201d C. S. Lewis wrote, \u201cthat grief felt so like fear.\u201d Location: 139<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Resilience is the strength and speed of our response to adversity\u2014and we can build it. It isn\u2019t about having a backbone. It\u2019s about strengthening the muscles around our backbone. Location: 162<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>We plant the seeds of resilience in the ways we process negative events. After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks, psychologist Martin Seligman found that three P\u2019s can stunt recovery: (1) personalization\u2014the belief that we are at fault; (2) pervasiveness\u2014the belief that an event will affect all areas of our life; and (3) permanence\u2014the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever. Location: 221<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>\u201cPart of every misery,\u201d C.\u00a0S. Lewis wrote, is \u201cmisery\u2019s shadow\u2026the fact that you don\u2019t merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer.\u201d Location: 340<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>I couldn\u2019t understand when friends didn\u2019t ask me how I was. I felt invisible, as if I were standing in front of them but they couldn\u2019t see me. When someone shows up with a cast, we immediately inquire, \u201cWhat happened?\u201d If your ankle gets shattered, people ask to hear the story. If your life gets shattered, they don\u2019t. Location: 457<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>The two things we want to know when we\u2019re in pain are that we\u2019re not crazy to feel the way we do and that we have support. Location: 489<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Unlike non-question-asking friends, openers ask a lot of questions and listen to the answers without judging. They enjoy learning about and feeling connected to others. Openers can make a big difference in times of crisis, especially for those who are normally reticent. Location: 496<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Many people who had not experienced loss, even some very close friends, didn\u2019t know what to say to me or my kids. Their discomfort being around us was palpable, especially in contrast to our previous ease. As the elephant in the room went unacknowledged, it started acting up, trampling over my relationships. If friends didn\u2019t ask how I was doing, did that mean they didn\u2019t care? Did they not see the giant muddy footprints and piles of manure? Location: 518<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Grief doesn\u2019t share its schedule with anyone; we all grieve differently and in our own time. Location: 777<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Philosopher S\u00f8ren Kierkegaard said that life can only be understood backward but it must be lived forward. Location: 960<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>\u201cWhen we are no longer able to change a situation,\u201d psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl observed, \u201cwe are challenged to change ourselves.\u201d Location: 1,106<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>When we build resilience together, we become stronger ourselves and form communities that can overcome obstacles and prevent adversity. Collective resilience requires more than just shared hope\u2014it is also fueled by shared experiences, shared narratives, and shared power. Location: 1,877<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>To be resilient after failures, we have to learn from them. Most of the time, we know this; we just don\u2019t do it. We\u2019re too insecure to admit mistakes to ourselves or too proud to admit them to others. Instead of opening up, we get defensive and shut down. A resilient organization helps people overcome these reactions by creating a culture that encourages individuals to acknowledge their missteps and regrets. Location: 2,084<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg is a book that I&#8217;d be wanting to pick up.\u00a0 I remember reading the news story about Sandberg&#8217;s husband passing away while they were on vacation.\u00a0 I remembered praying for her and her young children as they walked through that journey.\u00a0 This book [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,23,28,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11740","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-book-review","category-generosity","category-integrity","category-leadership"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11740","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11740"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11740\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11740"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11740"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/meganstrange.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11740"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}