Book Review: The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace

I just finished reading The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Gary Chapman and Paul White.  This book is a great tool for leaders in any type of organization.  I really appreciated that the authors often referenced school leaders in this for some of their examples.  My husband teased me about how many books I read on leadership that are “The 7…”, “5 ways to..”, etc.  But, this one was really great and I can say it definitely changed some of my thoughts on the best way to show appreciation to those on my team.  This book is along the same lines as The 5 Love Languages also by Chapman.

Here are some things that I highlighted while reading…

• 5 Languages of Appreciation-Words of Affirmation, Tangible Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Physical Touch
• The number one factor in job satisfaction is not the amount of pay but whether or not the individual feels appreciated and valued for the work they do.
• The reality is that what makes one person feel appreciated does not make another person feel appreciated.
• Each of us wants to know that what we are doing matters.
• While we all want to know that we are valued, we want it to be authentic, not contrived.
• We believe that people in the workplace need to feel appreciation in order for them to enjoy their job, do their best work, and continue working over the long haul.
• The bottom-line result is that retaining quality employees is critically important for companies and organizations today.
• What factors impact employees’ levels of satisfaction in their job?
• Going to work in an environment where there is a sense of appreciation for what we contribute is more enjoyable than doing the same tasks (for the same money) and not feeling valued by those around us.
• When employees report higher levels of satisfaction with their job, it corresponds to a more positive customer serving rating as well.
• Business owners and managers who utilize effective principles for communicating appreciation and encouragement receive multifold returns for their business on the investment made.
• If praise is to be effective, it must be specific.
• Showing staff members that you appreciate them by speaking the language of quality time is a powerful yet largely misunderstood tool for managers.
• We may be good at giving speeches and instructions but weak in the area of listening.  Learning to listen may be as difficult as learning a foreign language, but learn we must if we are going to have employees who feel appreciated.
• Once you have listened well, you can then share your perspective.  Hopefully because you have listened to them, they will also listen to you.
• Genuine appreciation always requires sincerity.
• Collegiality in the workplace–helping one’s team members–leads to more successful organizations.
• True leadership requires a willingness to serve.
• If you want your acts of service to be received as an expression of appreciation, it’s always better to ask before helping.
• Thoughtless gifts not only miss the mark but also communicate a negative message.
• An individual’s few of what is appropriate and inappropriate in the workplace may differ greatly from person to person.
• Appropriate acts of physical expression are valued by many with whom we interact on a daily basis and can add a depth of warmth to work-based relationships.
• There are different ways to communicate appreciation and encouragement to others.
• Individuals tend to have preferential modes of being shown that they are appreciated and valued, with some modes of communication being more significant than others for each individual.
• The most effective communication of appreciation and encouragement occurs when the message is sent in the language of appreciation most valued by the receiver.
• Messages of appreciation and encouragement in languages not valued by the recipient will tend to miss the mark.
• Our complaints reveal our deep emotional hurts.  The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your appreciation language.  If you receive appreciation in that language, the hurt will likely go away and you will feel genuinely appreciated.
• What we schedule, we normally do.
• A perception of insincere appreciation is deadly to an organization.
• Low job satisfaction increases job turnover.
• Turnover affects the quality of services delivered.
• When a person receives an adequate supply of their primary language of appreciation, their secondary language may become more important.
• Workers must have the mental space to observe others if they are going to appreciate what they are doing.
• We believe it is worth the effort to engage those with who you work closely in an effort to enhance the level of effectiveness in expressing appreciation to each other.
• We openly encourage supervisors not to attempt communicating appreciation if they truly do not appreciate the team member.
• A single act of encouragement doesn’t look like it is going to change the world or make a real difference in a colleague’s life.  Bu then appreciation and encouragement are consistently communicated over a long period of time, in ways that are important to the individual–the impact can be dramatic. And when and organization is composed of healthy parts communicating effectively, and when a physical system is equipped with defenses to fight off unhealthy invaders, it can mean the difference between surviving difficult times and succumbing to a general lack of health.