Book Review: The Blessing

Over Fall Break from school, I read The Blessing by John Trent.  I can honestly say that this may be one of the most important books I’ve ever read in my life as it helped me sort out my own history and gave me a clear perspective on my hopes for being the best wife and mom possible.  I just get one chance to do this right and to experience God’s best for my life!

I have to constantly be on guard that my greatest ministry in my life is my own family.  I used to be a youth minister and now I am a middle school and high school principal.  What that basically means is that I have dedicated my entire life to investing in other people’s kids.  If I’m not extremely careful, that ministry can cloud my priorities with my own family.  John Trent wrote, “Neglecting to give your own child the blessing because you are too busy with a “higher calling” is to miss the whole point of the gospel. And don’t just take that from me. The apostle Paul, who knew a little bit about leading a sold-out life, made it clear that “if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim. 5:8 NASB).”

Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”  My words will speak either life giving truth or pain beyond repair to my husband and daughter.  Which will I choose?  I have to make that choice every day.  My prayer is that God will use my words to speak life into their hopes and dreams as they run hard after Him. The same is true of those that work with me, work for me, and those that I have the privilege of “doing life with” in this exciting journey.

I grew up like some of the examples in the book.  My dad split when we were little and my mom always did her best to hold things together.  I was very fortunate to have a great mom!  I was also extremely fortunate to have some godly adults in my life who spoke their blessing over me…a Sunday School teacher, my youth pastor, my high school principal, a softball coach, and many more people who chose to speak words of life to me during a really pivotal time.  My prayer is that God will use me in that way for a whole other generation of students that are seeking…and hopefully will find…their source of life in Christ alone.

Here are several things that I highlighted while reading The Blessing.  I am certain this book will find it’s way onto my staff reading list before too long…powerful reminders!

  • The blessing…fights back against a toxic culture.
  • The blessing…can open a child’s heart to a lasting faith.
  • Christianity is and has been primarily about a relationship. And the blessing is all about building relationships.
  • The blessing…can help heal the hurts from the past.
  • The blessing…is part of your call to a real and radical faith.
  • Neglecting to give your own child the blessing because you are too busy with a “higher calling” is to miss the whole point of the gospel. And don’t just take that from me. The apostle Paul, who knew a little bit about leading a sold-out life, made it clear that “if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim. 5:8 NASB).
  • Children who grow up without a sense of parental acceptance are especially susceptible to being drawn in by these counterfeit blessings.
  • I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life or death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants. (Deut. 30:19 NASB)
  • So the first choice we have is to move toward God and toward others. When we do that, we add life to our relationships.
  • At any given juncture we make the choice to move toward the other person, choosing life in that relationship, or to step away, choosing death.
  • When you bless someone, in other words, you are really saying, “I choose to treat you as someone incredibly valuable in my life.”
  • We are told in the book of Proverbs that “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prov. 18:21). So it is with the blessing, and so it is in a terribly negative way when we choose the curse.
  • Will we choose to bless our loved ones and the Lord by bowing our knee and weighing our scales in their favor— opening our lives to God’s blessing in the process? Or will we choose to curse them by blocking the flow of good things in our own lives and others’?
  • If we are serious about helping our children move toward warmth and light and love, we need to light their footsteps on just such a positive path. The blessing is the best way I know to provide such a light.
  • To see the blessing bloom and grow in the life of a child, spouse, or friend, we need to verbalize our message. Good intentions aside, good words—spoken, written, and preferably both—are necessary to communicate genuine acceptance.
  • Parents, in particular, need to know that neglecting to meaningfully touch their children starves them of genuine acceptance—so much so that it can drive them into the arms of someone else who is all too willing to touch them.
  • We should not be surprised, then, that the family blessing hinges on being a verbalized message. Abraham spoke a blessing to Isaac. Isaac spoke it to his son Jacob. Jacob spoke it to each of his twelve sons and to two of his grandchildren. Esau was so excited when he was called in to receive his blessing because, after years of waiting, he would finally hear the blessing. Later, the apostle Paul wrote eloquent words of blessing to growing churches all over the Roman Empire.
  • “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prov. 18:21).
  • Don’t delay. Time passes so quickly. Please don’t let that important person leave your life without receiving the second element of the blessing—the spoken (or written) word.
  • When we bless someone, we are deciding—choosing—to hold on to the fact that he or she is of high value.
  • Therefore may God give you Of the dew of heaven, Of the fatness of the earth, And plenty of grain and wine. Let peoples serve you, And nations bow down to you. Be master over your brethren, And let your mother’s sons bow down to you. Cursed be everyone who curses you, And blessed be those who bless you! (Gen. 27:28–29)
  • There is no such thing as “quality time” that makes up for inconsistency in our relationships. We need to have a track record of daily decisions that demonstrate our commitment to our children, our spouses, or anyone we would bless. Only then will our words of a special future really find their mark.
  • Are you providing your children, spouse, or intimate friends with a blessing that pictures a special future for them?
  • Undeveloped potential needs to be brought out into the open and developed.
  • “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).
  • Physical proximity does not equal personal knowledge.
  • One way to remind ourselves to actively listen to our children, spouses, or others is found in the book of Proverbs: “Bright eyes gladden the heart” (15:30 NASB).
  • Many of us need to turn on truth’s searchlight and shine it on our pasts. Only then can we be free to walk confidently into the future.
  • We shouldn’t look down and lose hope if we grew up without the blessing. We should look up, instead, to the incredible provision of a blessing that can leave our lives overflowing, the kind of blessing that can even replace a curse with contentment.
  • 2 Corinthians 5:17: “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”
  • the five elements of the blessing: meaningful touch, a spoken (or written) message, attaching high value, picturing a special future, and an active commitment.
  • Don’t wait! Don’t leave your blessing to chance! Make an intentional plan to give your son, your daughter—everyone you care about—your blessing. Write it down. Speak the words. Make a memory now and give a keepsake for tomorrow.
  • Living the blessing means looking for ways to discern potential and affirm it—and we change lives when we make the effort to do that.

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