“One of the best parts of being human is other humans. It’s true, because life is hard; but people get to show up for one another, as God told us to, and we remember we are loved and seen and God is here and we are not alone. We can’t deliver folks from their pits, but we can sure get in there with them until God does. Live long enough and it becomes clear that stuff is not the stuff of life. People are. We need each other, so we probably ought to practice radical grace, because our well-flaunted opinions are cold companions when real life hits.”
-Jen Hatmaker, For the Love
For the Love by Jen Hatmaker is a book that will have you laughing out loud to the point where the other people on the beach are staring at you…and in the next moment doing that ugly cry that you prefer to only do behind closed doors. This book reads like a conversation with a dear friend sitting in her kitchen. In fact, it would probably be a blast to gather up a group of your girlfriends and read these essays together. For the Love is an honest look at what it means to truly fight for grace in the midst of a culture that’s pretty stingy in that area. One of the most exciting qualities of God…and the heart of the gospel itself…is grace. I love Bob Goff’s quote “Give love and grace away like you’re made of the stuff.” The more grace we give to others, the more we are able to experience grace ourselves.
This book is an awesome gift for a friend, mom, sister, or even that mom that you see at the grocery store that looks one step away from bonkers. For the Love is like a life raft in the midst of the tide of life that can knock you down over and over again. This life raft is full of grace…let it wash over you….FOR THE LOVE.
- God has always made the most sense to me through people, His image bearers. I crave dignity and healing and purpose and freedom for me and mine, you and yours, them and theirs. I want us to live well and love well. The substance of life isn’t stuff or success or work or accomplishments or possessions. It really isn’t, although we devote enormous energy to those goals. The fullest parts of my life, the best memories, the most satisfying pieces of my story have always involved people. Conversely, nothing hurts worse or steals more joy than broken relationships. We can heal and hurt each other, and we do.
- This is why we live and breathe: for the love of Jesus, for the love of our own souls, for the love of our families and people, for the love of our neighbors and this world. This is all that will last.
- One of the best parts of being human is other humans. It’s true, because life is hard; but people get to show up for one another, as God told us to, and we remember we are loved and seen and God is here and we are not alone. We can’t deliver folks from their pits, but we can sure get in there with them until God does. Live long enough and it becomes clear that stuff is not the stuff of life. People are. We need each other, so we probably ought to practice radical grace, because our well-flaunted opinions are cold companions when real life hits.
- We need to quit trying to be awesome and instead be wise.
- What does this season require of you?
- When I see another woman fighting for her balance beam, I am inspired because if she has permission, then I do too. Wise women know what to hold onto and what to release, and how to walk confidently in their choices—no regrets, no apologies, no guilt.
- Don’t ever confuse the two, your life and your work. That’s what I have to say. The second is only a part of the first. . . . There are thousands of people out there with the same degree you have; when you get a job, there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you are the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on the bus, or in the car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. —ANNA QUINDLEN
- A worthy life involves loving as loved folks do, sharing the ridiculous mercy God spoiled us with first. (It really is ridiculous.) It means restoring people, in ordinary conversations and regular encounters. A worthy life means showing up when showing up is the only thing to do. Goodness bears itself out in millions of ordinary ways across the globe, for the rich and poor, the famous and unknown, in enormous measures and tiny, holy moments. It may involve a career and it may not. It may include traditional components and it may not.
- Visionary, super tapped into what feels like your life’s work, you’re wonderful. Some make a career out of what they love. But your calling doesn’t begin and end with your job. The gutters are lined with folks who are burnedout from the frenzy of their work. Calling is a big umbrella under which “career” lives. It is one piece of your assignment, but if it fizzles or bombs or shifts or disappears, you can still live a worthy life full of faith-prompted deeds and goodness.
- God created an entire package. It all counts. There are no throwaway qualities. In fact, those qualities might point you in just the right direction. Nothing is wasted: not a characteristic, preference, experience, tragedy, quirk, nothing. It is all you and it is all purposed and it can all be used for great and glorious good.
- Let the rest of us grin at you while you run your race. Let us be proud. Let us be inspired and grateful that God made you to do this thing like a boss. The timing is never right. Forget that. It rarely just falls into your lap. You are probably not guaranteed success. This might be a risk. It will require sacrifices from you and maybe your people, and you might step out on shaky, shaky legs. But off you go because we were not created to stand still, even though that is safe and familiar and you are guaranteed never to fall or stumble or grow weary. We were made to run. RUN. I’m grinning at you. We all are.
- When I present a fabricated version of myself—the self who knows all, is ever certain, always steps strong—we all lose, because I cannot keep up with that lie and neither can you.
- The darkness has not overcome the light, and the light is ours.
- Show up. Be seen. Tell the truth. Be free.
- If you would tell a friend having a bad mom day, “It’s okay! Your kids know you love them. Everyone loses it sometimes. Parenting is hard. Tomorrow is a new day . . .,” then you should extend that same compassion to yourself.
- Condemnation is a trick of the enemy, not the language of the heavens. Shame is not God’s tool, so if we are slaves to it, we’re way off the beaten path.
- We should not cushion every blow. This is life. Learning to deal with struggle and to develop responsibility is crucial. A good parent prepares the child for the path, not the path for the child. We can still demonstrate gentle and attached parenting without raising children who melt on a warm day.
- Could we identify the lies fear tells us and do the courageous work of parenting against the grain?
- We so deeply want you to be tender toward people. Empathizing is key to a wholehearted life. I pray for your kindness more than your success, because the latter without the former is a tragedy. God measures our entire existence by only two things: how we love Him and how we love people. If you get this right, you can get a million other things wrong.
- It will take courage to live truthfully, but do the hard work now or later when it is harder. Some folks never do this and live halfheartedly their entire lives.
- Marriage is crazy work, but it is good work. Two people must regularly get over themselves and fight for love. There is no coasting; it’s pretty much foot on the gas forever. Some parts get easier and others get harder.
- We cannot be more committed to our methods than our message. Do we want to raise disciples? Then pay equal attention to what isn’t working as much as what is.
- Kids want to be mentored, not ruled.
- A youth group culture geared toward entertainment is not working. Face it: We cannot out-entertain the world. If discipleship programs hinge on amusement, they’ll come now but won’t stay later. Why would they?
- Jesus is the best marker that exists, so let’s raise Him high.
- There is a reason He created community and told us to practice grace and love and camaraderie and presence. People soften the edges and fill in the gaps. Friends make up some of the best parts of the whole story.
- Be the kind of friend you are hoping for. Trust
- Come near, dear one, and listen: You are not responsible for the spiritual health of everyone around you, nor must you weather the recalcitrant behavior of others. It is neither kind nor gracious to enable. We do no favors for an unhealthy friend by silently enduring forever. Watching someone create chaos without accountability is not noble. You won’t answer for the destructive habits of an unsafe person. You have a limited amount of time and energy and must steward it well. There is a time to stay the course and a time to walk away.
- If we must stay the course, compassion helps us weather the road.
- Vulnerability is absolutely transformative and creates more trust, not less.
- If we allow people to be human and God to be God, the church has a fighting chance. If you show up brave and true, and leaders show up brave and true, if you own your place and I own mine, the kingdom will break through in every possible way. God is big and good enough to lead us all, and together we just might see His kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.
- There is a clear correlation between how we treat each other and how a watching world will feel about Jesus. What should our neighbors deduce from our loving-kindness toward one another?
- Let’s treat each other well, making more space for every sort of ragamuffin. We needn’t mistake unity with uniformity; we can have the first without the second. The breadth of God’s family is mercifully wide. Grace has no discernment, apparently. Jesus created a motley crew, plucking us from every context and inaugurating a piecemeal clan that has only ever functioned with mercy. We should be grabbing hands, throwing our heads back, and laughing that God saved us all, because surely this is the messiest family ever and He loves us anyway. Our shared redemption should keep us grateful and kind, because what other response even makes sense?
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through their book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”