Book Review: Rid of my Disgrace

First off, I would definitely recommend this book as an incredible resource to anyone in ministry that has an opportunity to speak truth into the lives of students or adults.  This book is powerful and there are a lot of people out there that need these words.  I picked up Rid of my Disgrace by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb because I saw Mark Driscoll post on Twitter that it was available for free on Kindle.  I love to read and I felt like this book would be a great tool to add to my toolbelt as I seek to invest in the hearts and minds of those I serve through my leadership opportunities.  This book is specifically geared towards those who have been victims of sexual assault, but there is so much in here for common everyday sinners as well.  This book is not for the light of heart…prepare your heart and your mind to drink deeply of the grace of God.  If you want to put to death the lies of our culture, this book is for you.

I highlighted several things while reading and have posted them below…

  • The message of the gospel redeems what has been destroyed and applies grace to disgrace.
  • What happened to you was not your fault. You are not to blame. You did not deserve it. You did not ask for this. You should not be silenced. You are not worthless. You do not have to pretend like nothing happened. Nobody had the right to violate you.
  • You are not damaged goods.
  • Grace is love that seeks you out even if you have nothing to give in return. Grace is being loved when you are or feel unlovable. Grace has the power to turn despair into hope. Grace listens, lifts up, cures, transforms, and heals.
  • Martin Luther describes this good news: “God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. . . . He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace.”
  • Jesus entered her pain and shame as Tamar’s substitute to remove the stain of sins committed against her, and he rose from the dead to bring her healing and hope.
  • Our definition of sexual assault is any type of sexual behavior or contact where consent is not freely given or obtained and is accomplished through force, intimidation, violence, coercion, manipulation, threat, deception, or abuse of authority.
  • Under reporting skews all recordable statistics. Therefore, statistics on the incidence of sexual assault vary greatly and are believed to underrepresent the prevalence of the crime.
  • What grace offers to the victim experiencing disgrace is the gift of refuting distortions and faulty thinking and replacing their condemning, counterfactual beliefs with more accurate ones that reflect the truths about God, yourself, and God’s grace-filled response to your disgrace.
  • What victims need are not self-produced positive statements but God’s statements about his response to their pain.
  • Grace transforms and heals; and healing comes by hearing God’s statements to you, not speaking your own statements to yourself.
  • Facing the reality of what actually happened was the beginning of the healing process, a process that continues and will not be complete until we are in heaven.
  • Specific attention to the harm done is needed before the restoration is begun.
  • God grieves for and with you. God’s response toward you is compassion.
  • He already sees, hears, and knows your suffering and is facing it in its fullness even before you cried out.
  • Now he is inviting you to face it with him, not alone.
  • Our grief now is in the context of a future hope.
  • Psalm 46:1 proclaims, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”
  • Joel 2:25, “I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten.”
  • If you are in Christ, your identity is deeper than any of your wounds.
  • Hebrews 12:2: “Jesus . . . who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
  • Grace is the miracle that causes change.
  • I feasted on lies for years, which led to deeper hopelessness.
  • Isaiah 43:1–3 reads as a poem of remembrance of God’s redemption:   Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
  • Isaiah 53:5: “But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace [Heb. shalom], and with his stripes we are healed.”

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